STI: NEW MOON
Bella:: OMG I LOVE YOU!
Edward:: Happy Birthday, my brother almost killed you, I’m leaving.
Bella:: *Depressed for months.*
Jacob:: Hey girl that I’m in love with for no real reason except that she’s the Mary-sue of this series!
Bella:: Oh hi Jacob. You’ll make me feel better.
Jacob:: Oh by the way, I’m a werewolf I hate Edward!
Bella:: I miss him. *emo*
Jacob:: Take your mind off him. He’s an idiot, and a vampire.
Bella:: I’m going to do stupid things so I can have visions of Edward! [In most societies that would cause people to deem you delusional.]
*Bella jumps off a cliff, Jacob rescues her*
Bella:: Oh hi, ew wet dog, gtfo.
Alice:: I AM BACK, OH HI BELLA, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.
Bella:: No I just jumped off a cliff, then Jacob had to rescue me, because I started seeing Edward in the water and let myself drown.
Alice:: Oh, well Edward thinks you’re dead and he’s going to Italy to have old powerful vampires kill him.
Bella:: What a cliche, he can’t live without me! Let’s go to Italy and save him!
Edward:: *Emo* Bella is gone, I want to die.
Fan girls:: HOW ROMANTIC!
Bella:: No! I’m alive, see.
Edward: No you aren’t, oh wait you are, sup bby?
Bella:: I LOVE YOU!
*STILL NO PLOT LINE!? HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS SPAN FOUR GOD DAMNED BOOKS?*
Volturi:: We keel yew nao human gurl.
Edward:: Please no!
Bella:: WhutWhut? *has no idea what’s going on*
Aro:: Sup, I hear yur immune to vampire abilities.
Bella:: I guess?
Aro:: Hardcore, I’mma dew eet up tew see.
Bella:: *is immune* [*GASP* THAT'S A SHOCKER!]
Aro:: Can yew join us?
Bella:: Nothnx, I love Edward, hes gorgeous you're just old and albino looking. *clings to sparkle faggot*
Aro:: oh kay, well you bitches turn her or we’ll keel yew all.
Alice & Edward:: Kay G. Will do.
Edward & Bella:: *Skip away happily into the mother fucking sunset*
*Insert OHFUCKIHATEYOUSOMUCHJACOB moment here, oh and still not plot*
Charlie:: WHAR WUR YEW YOUNG LADDDIIIEE?
Edward & Bella:: OH SHIT, WE FORGOT ABOUT YOU.
Be sure to leave a message in the guest book!