PLAGIARISM.

Is a crime, simply put. Feel free to post this summary on any other site. Just make sure you have my permission or at least a link back to my site. I feel it shouldn't be necessary to keep this post above my blog, but to prevent this from happening again, I have provided information on how to cite me and contact me, there is no excuse now to plagiarize my work.


Just to make this horrendously easy for anyone wanting to post my summaries:

Always link back to: http://sti-twilightsaga.blogspot.com

Means of Contacting:

Aleksei.Kaza@Gmail.com || Achromatosis@Gmail.com


Sunday, December 21, 2008

Summarizing the Idiocy:: Twilight || Book One.



STI: TWILIGHT.



Bella:: I’m an annoying Mary-Sue, who hates everything about the place I moved to! I don’t know why I bothered moving in with my dad.

Charlie:: Sup? I got you a truck.

Bella:: Oh rad I hate you, I hate this place, I hate my life.

Charlie:: ‘Kay awesome, leave me alone I want to watch baseball.

*School Day*

Bella:: I hate it here. [What a fucking surprise.]

Every guy in the school:: OMG, You’re sexy marry me.

Bella:: Ew no, use some Pro-Active acne solution, you’re nasty.

Jessica:: HEY YOU’RE IN MY CLASSES.

Bella:: OMG, who is the god like man sitting there with all the other pretty people!

Jessica:: Edward Cullen.

Bella:: I love him!

*Insert boring crap here*

Edward:: I hate you, you wreak.

Bella:: NO FAIR! *emocutcutcutslashwhine*

*No plot line at all//more boring crap*

Bella:: *almost dies*

Edward:: *Saves*

Bella:: ILUSM EDDIEBBYCKS.

Edward:: Meh, don’t talk to me, get in the ambulance. I still hate you, you still wreak I just didn’t want you to die. [What the fuck sense does THAT make?]

*Later*

Bella:: *Almost get raped while dress shopping* [WTFH?]

Edward:: *saves again*

Bella:: JACOB TOLD ME YOU WERE A VAMPIRE!

Edward:: Yep, I’m a vampire, and I decided I love you.

Bella:: Finally! *Cling*

Edward:: You should hate me I’m dangerous, I sparkle.

Bella:: So? I’m a Mary-sue, I throw caution in the wind and don’t listen to rules. Because I’m fucking hardcore, wait you sparkle?

Edward:: I’ll show you someday.

*Insert continuous lack of plot here*

Alice:: ‘Sup, I can see the future I for see you dying.

*Insert more lovey dovey ilusm Edward/Bella BS here.*

Edward:: Alice saw it storming, lets go play baseball.

Bella:: Whut?

*Cullen family plays baseball vampire style, obv.*

Three random vampires:: ‘Sup G? Hay I see you brought food.

Cullens:: No! She’s with us.

James:: Oh well, she smells tasty I’mma hunt her!.

Bella:: Trust me I taste way worse then I smell. *flees the state*

James:: *Finds her house and lures her there*

Bella:: EEK!

James:: lol, you were stupid enough to come. *almost kills*

*Later*

Bella:: Oh hey, I survived all thanks to my one true love Edward! Oh ew, my leg is broken.

Edward:: Hello girl I am so in love with I would do anything for! Your mothers here I’m gonna pretend to sleep!

Bella’s mother:: I think that boy might be in love with you. *stating the obvious.*

Bella:: Yep, I love him too! We’re soul mates.

* Even Later*

Bella:: Oh fuck! You’re taking me to prom!? How could I not realize that Alice dressing me up in a fancy designer dress and doing my hair and makeup on the DAY of the prom could mean that, and wait I’m only a junior WHY THE HELL AM I EVEN GOING TO PROM?

Edward:: I love you, lets dance gimpy.

Bella:: I can’t dance lets go have a sappy moment outside instead.

Edward:: Okay. *sparkle* [I know he didn’t sparkle in the book at the end, but he may as well have.]


STI:: NEW MOON || BOOK TWO.

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