PLAGIARISM.

Is a crime, simply put. Feel free to post this summary on any other site. Just make sure you have my permission or at least a link back to my site. I feel it shouldn't be necessary to keep this post above my blog, but to prevent this from happening again, I have provided information on how to cite me and contact me, there is no excuse now to plagiarize my work.


Just to make this horrendously easy for anyone wanting to post my summaries:

Always link back to: http://sti-twilightsaga.blogspot.com

Means of Contacting:

Aleksei.Kaza@Gmail.com || Achromatosis@Gmail.com


Sunday, December 21, 2008

Summarizing the Idiocy:: Eclipse || Book Three.


STI: ECLIPSE.



Charlie:: You can’t leave the house except for school.

Bella:: MEANIE PANTS!

[OKAY, SRSLY, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PLOT?!]

Plot:: *Rotting in the trunk of Edwards Volvo.*

Edward:: I still love you.

Bella:: Yay!

Edward:: Let’s get married.

Bella:: Ew no.

*This takes up more than half the book, no joke*

Edward:: You can’t see that dog Jacob anymore.

Bella:: WHAT?!

*Somewhere in here they go to visit Bella's mother in Florida and her and Bella have a SRSBIDNIZ talk*

Victoria:: HurrHurr, I James’ mate am back to kill Bella.

Werewolves:: We’ll help you pussy little vampires.

Vampires:: Oh hay, no. wait yes. our other buddies wont halp because ones an angry moron with not real reason to except that Meyer want's it to be as such.

Jasper:: *has a half decent back story, really the only highlight of this entire book.*

Everyone:: *Goes to war against Victoria and her vampire army.*

*They miraculously win, with only one injury that being Jacob go figure.*

Victoria:: *Dead*

Volturi:: Oh look, you did our job for us, except for killing this one chick, well fuck you.

Cullen’s:: Woo, go us. We’re so awesome and accomplished.

Volturi:: Why is Bella still a human, we should kill you all now.

Cullen’s:: We’re turning her after she graduates from highschool.

. . . wait didn’t that happen earlier in the book? Meh.

*In La Push*

Jacob:: I am all dismembered and junk! Yay!

Charlie:: WTFH, That was caused by a motorcycle accident!? *too stupid to catch on to anything going on*

Carlisle:: I am here to save young werewolf boy.

Billy:: GREJAJKHDFDSDKLJ! GTFO MY PROPERTIEZZZZZ.

*Back in Forks* [Or should I say Sporks. HurrHurr.]

Bella:: So, now I’ve decided if you want to marry me, I want sex.

Edward:: Fine, but we have to get married first.

Bella:: But I get sex right?

Edward: Yes, so then we have a deal. Let’s tell Charlie we’re engaged, of course we better omit the fact that you get sex.

Bella:: Okay, just make sure he doesn’t have his gun, you know incase he tries to kill you.

Edward:: You idiot I’m a vampire, oh by the way Jacob heard you tell me you loved me and crap, and he’s being all emo about it. [There may have been a build up to it, but that was probably the part I slept through.]

. . . which reminds me what did happen to Jacob?

Oh right.

Leah:: Get over Bella, she’s just a dirty Mary-sue.

Jacob:: But I love her.

Leah:: So, as I said before, Mary-sue. *Total bitch about it.*

Jacob:: *Runs away*

STI: BREAKING DAWN || BOOK FOUR.

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